Separation Anxiety

 I can already feel it setting in. The deployment keeps getting closer and closer, and my emotions are starting to show more than I'd prefer.

It kind of helps knowing the psychological cycle of deployment emotions. I know that I am getting anxious and feeling overwhelmed with tasks and that its completely normal for this stage. It only helps a little bit though. I am starting to feel very worried and upset that I know with everything coming up in the next two months, our weekends alone together are numbered....and that number is pretty low. I mean, yes we will be together, and even with friends and family. I'm sure I'm not the only spouse who has felt this way (if you happen to be one of them, let me know, so I feel less crazy!).

Trying to think of what I can do while he is gone isn't very helpful at the moment. I feel like I really need to take this deployment thing one day at a time. Otherwise I feel nervous, anxious, and sometimes a little dizzy. Right now, I'm just telling myself that he is going to be with me for awhile longer and that he will be back in no time. Like I said, its the inbetween part that makes me anxious.

Oh and another thing that I can't handle right now....people worrying about me. I just can't. So if you are, please don't. Or at least pretend like you aren't. Because if I get that sense from you, then I will feel that this is a huge big deal that could cause me to start crying and not stop. I need to feel like this isn't a huge deal. Yes, my husband will be gone overseas, and it will suck. But it will not end me, or us, or send me into a depression. I need to minimize the drama surrounding this whole thing. I'm dramatic enough without help from others. I know my husband isn't going to be in mortal danger in Kuwait, and he won't even be flying very much this first time. I know we will talk frequently and, thanks to technology, even see each other on a regular basis. So, from that perspective, this isn't a huge deal. It's a sucky deal, but not huge.

Josh has been gone quite a bit already with TDYs and such, so I feel like I can handle this. I have good supports and resources for whatever I may need. I just need to know that everyone around me has the same faith in me. This will suck. And I am a very emotional, sensitive person....but I am not so fragile that this will break me.

Ugh.....so ready to get this over with.....
Is it September yet?