His name was Shane David Loy. I can barely stomach the fact that I have to use past tense in that sentence now. When I was 14, I swore up and down that I would marry this guy. He was the first person I ever said I love you to or kissed meaningfully. We eventually grew into different people but we've always been good friends. And I just can't believe he's gone. My heart literally hurts thinking about those he's left behind. His wife. His two adorable daughters, Chloe and Braylee. Two girls that are too young to comprehend what an amazing dad they had.
Just last night I was thinking how lucky I was to have not experienced a loss like this one in a long time. I know I am not getting the blunt of the pain from this situation, but it still hurts and thinking about those who are, hurts even more.
Thinking about fond and funny memories helps a little, but only until I remember once again that he is gone and that I'll never see or speak to him again. Then its like hearing about his death all over again. This blog may not make any sense, but today, I could care less. I have a heavy heart and feelings that need to be released. I don't think I can cry anymore than I have already. I am simply sad.
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