Elise Barbara

Elise Barbara

 

Shakespeare once asked “What’s in a name?”

True that in its simplest form, it’s really just something we use to address one another. I think, however, that a name has become more than just something we call ourselves.

My husband and I always wanted our children’s names to be something kind of unique and hold special meaning. When we thought we were having a boy, we found it very difficult to land on a name that fit into both of those categories. We never had a problem with our baby girl’s name.

We chose it in college before we even got married. (Yep, we are one of THOSE couples!)

Elise Barbara McVay will be the name of our first born.

Elise is simply a beautiful name that hasn’t been used too often in recent years. We like that we can shorten it to Ellie (which we call her often), but it’s also elegant enough to sound good if she happens to grow up be an attorney or something fancy like that!

Barbara is the part of the name that is definitely unique and holds a very special meaning for both me and my husband. Both our grandmothers just happened to be named Barbara. Both women are particularly special to us both. Unfortunately, my husband never got the opportunity to meet my Mema. This breaks my heart a little, because I know she would’ve loved him so much. And I really feel like he was cheated out of meeting one hell of a woman.

It also breaks my heart to know that Elise won’t get to meet her namesake on this earth. I’d like to think that she’s already met her in heaven and my Mema sent her down to us as a very special delivery. I also like to think Mema is up there taking care of our first little one that couldn’t make it here to be with us.

My Mema was quite a lady. She had many talents in life, including (but certainly not limited to) sewing, cake decorating, cooking, flower arranging, child care, and just all around a sweet woman who was never short on hugs.  Mema used to throw all my cousins and I a slumber party a few times a year. Even as she lost her health, she

was always happy to have us over and spend time with us. Each one was themed and some are even on tape for us to remember forever. Though I know I speak for all my cousins when I say the tapes aren’t necessary for memories.

Losing Mema to a long fight against breast cancer in 2005 was one of the hardest things my family has had to go through. Even though she’d been sick for a while, I don’t think any of us were prepared to handle such a loss. She was the center of our family and she made every holiday and family event a happy memory.

I wish I had gotten to spend more time with her as an adult. I feel like as much as I know about her, it’s not enough and I wish I had been mature enough to know that I would want to know more about her as a person and not just as a grandma. Sometimes I have dreams about her. In those dreams, we just sit and talk. I am not really sure what we talk about, but it always leaves me feeling warm and cozy inside. Just like I did sitting on her couch on Christmas morning, laughing hysterically at family jokes and opening presents together. I can’t wait for Elise to have these experiences with my mother and mother in law. She is definitely blessed in the grandmother department.

My husband has something he wanted to write about his grandmother. She has also become very special to me. Going to her house and spending time with her reminds me of Mema’s so much. It’s always a joy to visit and I’ve felt like a part of that family from day one. We feel so blessed to have not just one, but two wonderful women to name our daughter after.

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To me one of the most exciting and nerve-wracking things about having a child has been what to call her.  I really never thought I would be able to settle on one particular name that would identify our daughter for the rest of her life. I’ve always wanted my children’s names to be something that one day they would be able to sit down and think about and say, “You know I really like my name”.  One of the things I’ve never really liked about my own name is how common it seems to be with guys my age.  I’m pretty sure every boy born in 1985 is named Josh.  My parents swear they didn’t see that coming. It’s not that I hate my name.  I have just always had to wonder if that person I didn’t recognize who was calling my name was actually trying to get my attention or one the 7 other guys that turned around to respond.  On the other hand, my middle name is something I do appreciate.  I’m named after my great-grandfather, John Nelson.  He was a great man and I am fiercely proud to carry his name.  This kind of carrying on tradition is part of what make family, family.

At the same time I didn’t want any of what I call “yuppy names.”  You know the ones I mean. The stereotypical soccer mom gets out of her stereotypical soccer mom wagon and calls to her stereotypically-named kids, all while sipping Starbucks and texting on her iPhone.  The super trendy, uniquely un-unique  kind of cutesy names she would be embarrassed about if her name ends up on a business card or letterhead one day.  I want my kids to stand out.  I want them to be their own people from the minute they are born.  I want them to be strong.  I wanted a name for our daughter that really means something to her.  We chose Elise because we think it fits her.  We chose Barbara because of what it means to us.  One name to be hers and one name to share with our families in honor of two ladies that have had an immeasurable impact on our lives. 

My grandmother is truly an amazing person; so much so that I have absolutely no reservations about naming my first-born after her.  She is so strong in her way.  All 4 feet, 11 inches (or so).  And probably the kindest person I’ve ever met.  That’s what I want my little girl to be.  It won’t be the name that does it but it certainly won’t hurt.

She won’t have the most popular name of the girls in her class, but if she is anything like her namesakes she won’t need to.