April 30

This week is National Infertility Awareness Week. Ironic because it happens to be the week before the anniversary of the day we found out I was pregnant with our precious Elise.

That day is supposed to be a very special day. My husband and I are sad to admit that he doesn't remember much about it, and I was too terrified to feel excited about it.

Unlike our first pregnancy where we both remember the details.

It was Halloween night. Josh was working the desk that night. I had suspected I was pregnant and had gone to the base clinic for a blood test that day. I decided I didn't want to wait, so as kids were trick or treating at our door I took a home pregnancy test. Positive.

I always thought I would come up with some creative way to tell my husband he was going to be a father. But I should've known better! We can't keep any secrets from each other. We usually can't even wait to give gifts to one another and typically exchange them early.

So I called him. Through happy tears, I told him I was pregnant. I could hear his smile and happy tears. The blood test results confirmed what we already knew the next day.

The second miscarriage I kind of expected. The pink line on the test was super faint and two days later, I was screaming on the phone to my mom as josh rushed home to take me to the ER.

So when April 30 rolled around last year, I took a test 6 days early. Not expecting much. It was a very strong positive. I immediately started the progesterone that my obgyn gave me in hopes it would help. I walked into the living room where josh was with a hesitant smile on my face. I showed him the positive test and he smiled. I could tell he was scared and was trying to be happy for my sake.

Obviously everything turned out ok. It took us a long time to let go of our fear and allow ourselves to be happy and excited.

I just hope that anyone out there experiencing infertility issues eventually gets to that light at the end of the tunnel. And if you've come to realize that it's not an option for you, I am sending you positive thoughts of love, peace, and comfort. I hope you all find happiness in your life.