Mother's Day 2014

My second Mother's Day has come and gone already.

I still vividly remember Mother's Day from 2012, when I was newly pregnant with Elise. I was only 5 weeks along and we were so terrified of losing her that we opted not to recognize Mother's Day that year. We did a lot of things to protect ourselves from potential pain in those first few months. Or rather, we didn't do a lot of things.

Thankfully, that pregnancy worked out and now I have this amazing little girl that calls me mama and  looks for me when she's hurt, sad, scared, or wants to hug or play. It can be overwhelming sometimes when I realize all over again how important I am right now in her world. I know it won't always be this way, so I try so hard every day to not take these days for granted.

Being a mother somehow forces you to see yourself in ways you didn't know you could. It's like looking into this magic mirror that reveals every nook and cranny of yourself. Some of it is stuff you don't like....your impatience, frustrations, selfishness, etc. You see those things in a different way for the first time, and every day you wake up with a renewed sense of determination to be better for her. Then there's the stuff you are actually proud of.....patience (on those glorious good days), creativity, kindness, compassion, and gratitude. The gratitude especially tends to overwhelm me. When my daughter says "thank you" unprompted, or randomly stops what she's doing to run over and hug and kiss me and my husband, my heart skips a beat and it literally brings tears to my eyes. Seriously, my husband pokes fun at me all the time, but I don't care. I plan to soak it up and let myself feel every good feeling she throws my way. Plus I know he secretly does the exact same thing when he thinks I'm not looking!

This year we got to spend Mother's Day at home together. My husband and daughter got me some beautiful flowers and thoughtful cards. We spent lots of time together, had breakfast at our favorite place, and my husband knocked a few pesky, tedious household chores off my to do list for the week for me. It may not be diamond jewelry, but starting my week with half my chores done was pretty damn nice.

                                       

                                  

                                   

                                 

                                    

                                      

                                   

I feel pretty lucky that I have these two amazing people in my life. I'm not sure what I did to deserve their unconditional love, but I'll continue to do what I can to earn it for the rest of my life.