25 weeks

This week we've dealt with some baby drama. Everything is ok, but I would be lying if I said it didn't terrify us. But first the good stuff....

Our little family took a mini vacation to Great Wolf Lodge in Grapevine, TX. My husband and I try to take a trip after each deployment. Last time we literally didn't have time between SOS and prepping for the next deployment. 

The Great Wolf Lodge is a huge hotel thag has 80,000 sq ft and an indoor water park! We all wore ourselves out between swimming all day and not really sleeping at night. (Sharing a hotel with a toddler just isn't our favorite thing to do!)

After a couple days in the hotel, we made a very long trip to Oklahoma to visit the in laws. I say long because we got caught in a huge snow storm and it took us 7 hrs to make a 3.5 hour drive! Elise did amazing though. She didn't throw one fit and was happy. Can't ask for much more than that! 

Once we got to my inlaws, we began prepping for my sister in law's baby shower. We had to rearrange quite a bit due to the weather but we made it work and I think my mother in law made it very nice despite the circumstances! 

The next day, my husband and I drove to Enid for the day to scope out future homes and the town we are moving to this fall. It was a very successful trip and we may have even scored a house out of it. 

Unfortunately, that evening, I experienced some pretty heavy bleeding. My husband and I immediately went to the nearest hospital. 

I cannot express enough how grateful I am that my husband is so amazing in a crisis such as this. We've had a couple of scary situations like this we've had to navigate through and I just don't think I could've kept calm without him. Even with him there, I shook for about 4 hours. I was convinced my water had broken as we walked inside the ER and wondered what the evening would hold for little Lena. I sat hooked up to tubes and monitors for four hours waiting to see if I kept leaking blood or fluid or had any contractions. None of these happened. My amazing husband did everything he could to keep my mind on more positive things, but for a couple hours I just couldn't even speak. My mind had already arrived at the worst case scenario and I needed good news to pull me out of it. We wound up not getting bad news but not really anything great either. Lena was fine. In fact, she was moving around so much that the nurse couldn't get her heart beat almost the whole time. She kept kicking the doppler around on my belly. (Elise was the exact same way). And apparently I was also stable. But I think no part of us felt too great about leaving the hospital not knowing what had happened or if it would happen again. I spoke to my nurse at home the next morning who put me on pelvic rest and said she and my OB would further evaluate me at my next appt. So we will see how that goes. 

In light of all this, we decided its best for me to completely give up crossfit. Even if this is just my cervix being sensitive, it's just not worth the risk of delivering Lena early or somehow harming her. 

I was pretty angry/depressed for a day or two after. I felt like my body had once again failed me. Through two miscarriages, one preterm labor scare and now this, I couldn't fully trust my body to take care of my babies the way it should. I've been trying to shed fears as the delivery day inches closer and this incident will make doing that much more difficult. 

So I've been taking it easy this week in the hopes of avoiding another similar incident. So far so good. Though the level of comfort I'm experiencing is pretty poor. I'm not sure if it's purely physical or my mental/emotional issues manifesting themselves physically. 

At the end of the day, I'm grateful Lena is currently just fine. I'm ok. We are ok. Suffice to say, June really cannot get here fast enough. I don't think I'll feel completely safe until that girl is in my arms!