Deployed Blog

The following is a blog I wrote several months ago while my husband was deployed. We agreed that it was neither smart nor safe to let the entire web world know that he was gone and that I was alone, so I blogged privately and told myself I would post them after he arrived home so that I could still get those feelings out. This is a blog I wrote in July.

Josh has been deployed now for almost two months. Which means we are almost halfway through it, thank god.

The first week of the deployment was just awful. First of all, the wait to say goodbye was nothing short of torture. I was sick to my stomach a lot and I could never seem to have enough alone time with my husband. Knowing he was going to be away from me for the next four months made me pretty emotional and kinda clingy. :/ Once I dropped him off and we had said our goodbyes and I went home to our empty house to sleep in our empty bed, time felt as if it had stopped. I found it difficult to motivate myself to do anything. I learned to take things one day at a time. Thinking about him being gone til September was just too overwhelming, so I didn't. I talked to him when I could, and tried to distract myself when I couldn't.

As time went on (slowly, but surely), I got better at finding things to do. I got a job, made some friends, and started to get into a workout routine (which I'm convinced is the starting point in a happy existence). I definitely still have my down days and so does my husband. But all things considered, we are still pretty lucky. My husband is in Kuwait, so he's in no imminent danger. He doesn't even need us to send anything. We get to talk frequently and even skype several times each week. Sometimes that makes me feel better, but occasionally, it makes me miss him even more.

With tomorrow bringing us the anniversary of our nation's independence, I am reminded of how proud I am of my husband. He may not be in harm's way or living in crappy living conditions, but he is working so hard over there. He is sacrificing time with me and with his family and friends to contribute to the war against terrorism. As sad as I am that he's not here with me, my heart swells with pride for his dedication to his job and his commitment to our country.

Happy 4th of July everyone, and THANK YOU to ALL our troops and their families for their dedication and sacrifices. :)