Today is July 1, 2012. What was once our baby's due date from our first loss in November.
We have suffered two total. But the second one wasn't nearly as devastating to us as the first. The first one changed us forever. That was when our ability to be excited and optimistic about pregnancy was taken away.
We are still so grateful and thankful for our little one coming in January. But I'm not sure there will ever come a day when we won't feel sad over our first loss.
I'm not sure how to feel on this day. It's strange to feel such a sadness when we are about to embark on my second trimester for the first time. But I felt the need to acknowledge this day and our first little one that won't ever be.
Hard to believe its been nine months since that awful day....
“Do not urge me to leave you or to return from following you. For where you go I will go, and where you lodge I will lodge. Your people shall be my people, and your God my God. Where you die I will die, and there will I be buried. May the LORD do so to me and more also if anything but death parts me from you."
I feel ya. It's hard to deal with lost dreams and hopes. It seems that such terrible things like a loss during pregnancy take away our innocence, and you can't get it back.
ReplyDeleteI remember my "due date" and trying to figure out why the day was so wrong, why I felt so bad and then I realized, "oh, it should have been today, not three months ago." It was 27 years ago but I still remember that feeling.
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