Dear Elise

You are closing in on nine months now. You've almost been with us longer than you were in my belly. Nine months later, and you continue to amaze your dad and me. We are both so proud of you. 

This month has been a tough one for you. Not only have you had to go through your own baby milestones and trials, but you've had to say goodbye to your daddy without really knowing why or when he will come back. Rest assured, that he will. He misses you like crazy and loves you more than you'll ever know. He can't wait to get back here and hug you. 

Thank you, my sweet daughter, for lighting up this dark time. I miss your daddy and our family being whole more than I thought I could and I think, without you, the weight of my sadness would feel pretty heavy. As I lay here in bed, crying myself to sleep (again), I find comfort in the fact that I know I will wake up to your sweet, smiling face soon. I will see your face light up as I enter your room. You're trying to pull yourself up in your crib now and you are so proud when I walk in and see you trying. Your smile makes my day. Every.single.day. Don't ever stop smiling for me. 

I wish I could accurately explain to you how much your dad and I love you. How much we wanted you, even before there was a "you" to want. You are our dream come true. Before you came, we felt broken and sad from loss. You gave us hope. You gave us happiness. We love you unconditionally. Forever. No questions asked. 

I love you, little busy E. Never stop being curious and being hungry to learn. Never stop not giving up when something seems difficult. You're already so strong and independent. I love your blossoming personality and I can't wait to see what you have in store for us in the years ahead. You are so loved, Elise.