Week 0

Week 0 is the week leading up to the departure for a deployment. By far the worst week of the whole thing. We just finished that week and are almost done with week 1.

The week before I think I did a good job of pretending like everything was normal and really trying to make the most out of our time left together as a family. We had a lot of down time at home just being together (and trying to ignore the deployment trunks and uniforms being washed and packed away). We did everything together and even got to see both sets of parents. The last full day we spent the morning at the zoo here and it was just perfect.

 

 

 

Now I realize that the way we chose to say goodbye definitely isn't what everyone would do, but we know our family and what works for us and this is how we chose to handle it this time.

 

 

We invited my in laws down for our last night together and to see Josh off the following morning. I had to drop him off on base really early and I also didn't want to disturb Elise's sleep so they were kind enough to stay behind with her so Josh and I had our last moments together as husband and wife. My mother in law was also kind enough to stay behind an extra day to make sure I was okay and if I needed time to myself she could provide that for me. I cannot thank her enough for that. I did need time to myself to be sad so I could pick myself up and move on.

 

 

The last deployment was just the two of us and all I wanted those last couple weeks was my husband to myself and I couldn't have enough of that. I didn't want to share him with anyone and hated when I had to. This time was sooo different. Having my in laws there that last night made it all seem less daunting...it was like a normal evening together. We made a grilled feast and laughed and enjoyed being together.

 

 

Saying goodbye was hard of course. But me saying goodbye to my husband was nothing compared to watching him say goodbye to Elise. Just thinking about it now still makes me sick to my stomach. It really tore us both up.

 

 

The next day wasn't the best, but thankfully my friends were here to pick me up with sweet phone calls and even a cupcake delivery. The smallest gesture can make a difference on a day like that.

 

 

I don't think I would be doing as well as I have been without my daughter. She makes me smile and looking forward to each day. I don't know what I would do without her. She brings joy to my life every single day and I love her for that.

 

I know the next six months won't be easy, but we will get through it...and as my husband says "it will simply be a footnote in our beautiful life together"....something I can't wait to continue next year...