New Deployment Stages

Having been through a deployment before, I figured my feelings probably wouldn't be anything new this time around. Maybe a bit more heightened given that I have a child this time, but the same nonetheless. I was wrong. 

I woke up to a new feeling this morning. Anger. 

I'm not angry at my husband. Or my daughter. I am very irrationally angry at our circumstances. I'm sure tomorrow I'll wake up and be back to normal and be grateful for what we do have. But today, I'm upset. 

Elise has been achieving all kinds of milestones lately. Milestones that my husband can't be here for. Milestones that we can't get back. He can't come back and see her first step over again, or hear her first word again. 

Today I'm pretty angry that those things have been stolen from our family. Tomorrow will be better....