35 weeks

I got photo bombed! 

Perfect shelf for her to sit on!

So this week has been eventful! As you can see (and my OB confirmed) little Lena has begun her descent and dropped! I now have this space between my belly and my boobs that wasn't there before! 

I had my first cervical check this week and an ultrasound with my high risk OB. 

At my ultrasound, they determined she is now about 5lbs 10oz and 18 inches long! Just a pound shy of her sisters birth weight and length! And we still have 4-5 weeks to go! 

At my regular OB appt, I discovered I'm now 2cm dilated and 50% effaced. When she reached in to check me her first words were "Oh Bethany, she's SO low!" And I just said "yes, I know!" She's been kicking my cervix pretty hard every night before bed. Sometimes it makes me tear up without even thinking much about it. Kind of like when your eyes water if there's too much wind blowing in them. My doc also said she was pretty sure I would not make it to my due date! 

So on top of the pregnancy stuff, my husband and I decided he needed a break from driving every weekend so he stayed put for Mother's Day weekend. So of course, this was the weekend my daughter chose to get sick. This weekend we had a trip to urgent care and the ER. She's had a high temp of 103.2 and a nasty cough. We did lots of steamy shower rooms, humidifiers, Tylenol, Motrin, and snuggling. 

I've been alone with my daughter most of this pregnancy and I did ok. I can't say I loved it but we survived. This time? I'm just too pregnant to deal with this stuff alone! I really hurt my back holding her and I may or may not have cried myself to sleep. 

That same night, we had a tornado warning around 3am, lost power and I woke up Elise in the commotion and had a hard time getting her back to sleep. 

Needless to say, it was a challenging weekend. But Elise woke up today with no fever. Still congested and coughing, but much better. Only a few more days until my husband comes back. I feel like I could sleep for a week! 

I think one of the hardest parts was not being able to hold and care for my daughter like I wanted to. She wasn't feeling well and needed comfort and I did the best I could but I feel like I let her down. For the first time since I got pregnant, I wondered if I could be as good a mother to two girls as I have been to one for two years. I'm sure every second time mother wonders these things. My husband assures me is just my insecurities getting the better of me. 

Other than that, we are getting closer and closer to meeting the final member of our family and we cannot wait.