Mother's Day 2016

May is always a hectic month for our family. We have Mother's Day, my father's birthday, our anniversary, Military Spouse Appreciation Day, My brother in laws birthday and Memorial Day weekend (doesn't include whatever wedding/graduations that pop up). This year is no exception, and we are adding my cousin's wedding, our niece's birthday, and now sweet Lena's birthday.

We try to celebrate each event as well as we can. Military Spouse Appreciation Day gets thrown by the wayside usually, but I'm ok with that. My husband does a good job of expressing his appreciation on the regular without a day or a card expressly put aside for the occasion. Mother's Day is one we definitely think is worth the time and effort to celebrate. Since our schedule is always so crazy, though, we are RARELY home together for the occasion. Last year, I was home, but my husband was not. My daughter was very sick, and I was two weeks from delivering Lena with Bronchitis to boot! It was a really tough Mother's Day last year. This year was much nicer. We may not have been home, but we were together!

I got to kick off the day with 9 hrs of uninterrupted sleep and woke up to coffee and donuts from my favorite hometown donut shop and enjoyed it with my favorite people. After we ate, we packed up and took a long family walk down Riverside Drive in Tulsa. Just us four. We had a good time just playing and talking. Lena got so relaxed, she even fell asleep in the Ergo! NEVER happens. That girl likes her bed.

After that, Lena took a nap, and my husband and I hit my parent's pool with Ellie (and even Della!). When everyone was done napping and swimming, we came home. The girls were so tired, which means they were quiet and my husband and I got to experience a rare and awesome road trip conversation. When we arrived home, my husband had a gift waiting for me. We snuggled a little with the girls before putting them down and enjoyed our favorite show together.

Nothing spectacular, but it was just what I wanted. Spending time together always feels wonderful. Having two kids is more challenging than we thought it would be, but it's still pretty amazing. We feel pretty damn lucky that these two kids are ours.

This year, I thought back to the first year Mother's Day meant something to me (and not as a daughter). I was 5 weeks pregnant with Elise and just terrified. Scared to lose her and a little scared at the thought of having her and being someone's mother. I wanted her with every fiber of my being, but it's daunting isn't it? To know you're bringing a LIFE into this world and it's YOUR responsibility to not only make sure they are physically taken care of, but that they are also decent human beings. Sometimes that thought still keeps me awake at night. Am I being nurturing enough to make her kind and generous? Am I strict enough to make sure she doesn't grow up an entitled brat? Did I tell her I love her enough times today? What more can I do to SHOW her? It's a lot. Sometimes it just completely overwhelms me. And really, those questions are just the generalized tip of the iceberg. Every year they morph and change ever so slightly, just like she does. Like she will continue to do. Like I will have to continue to do to keep up. These girls are the greatest challenge I've ever been asked to do. They are also and will continue to be the greatest thing I ever do with my life. All I really want is to do right by them and make sure they know I will always be there for them. No matter what. They are my heart!